Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Engrish
While the unofficial language of Singapore is Singlish, I can't help but pass on some examples of the other unofficial language here: Engrish.
Enjoy!!!
Enjoy!!!
Singaporean guide to Parenting Preparation
I came across this yesterday on a local website... Thought I would share:
Parenting Preparation exercise:
(complete with a little Singlish)
Mess Exercise - Smear peanut butter all over your sofa and curtains. Place a fishball under your sofa cushion and leave it there for 3 months.
Toy Exercise - Buy a giant box of Lego. (Thumbtacks also can.) Ask your friend to spread them all over the floor of your flat. Simulate the middle of the night by putting on a blindfold and trying to walk to your toilet or kitchen. When you step on a Lego or thumbtack, do not scream because this would wake your child up at night.
Supermarket Exercise - Go to Hay Dairies in Lim Chu Kang and borrow two of their goats. Take them with you to your supermarket to do your groceries. Always keep them in sight, and pay for anything they eat or damage.
Dressing Exercise - Buy one very big, very buay song live octopus. Try to stuff it into a small net bag and make sure all its arms stay inside.
Feeding Exercise - Get a large plastic bottle. Fill it halfway with water. Suspend the bottle from the ceiling with a bungee cord. Separately, make a bowl of Quaker Oats by adding warm milk to the dry oats. Start to swing the jug. As it swings, try to insert as many spoonfuls of the soggy oats as you can into the mouth of the bottle. As you do, make sounds like “um-um-um” or pretend to be an aeroplane. After a while, just dump the contents of the bottle onto the floor.
Night-Time Exercise - Fill a small cloth bag with 5 kg of sand. Soak it completely in water. At 3 pm, pick up the bag and stand up, swaying gently back and forth while humming songs. Keep doing this till 8 pm. Put down the bag, and set your alarm clock for 9 pm, then try to sleep. At 9 pm, wake up, pick up the bag again and resume swaying and humming every song you’ve ever known. If you run out of songs, make some up. Continue till 5 am. Take a nap, and set alarm clock for 6 am. At 6 am, wake up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look happy.
Car Exercise - Forget the BMW and buy a MPV. Buy a cone of ice cream and put it in your dashboard compartment. Leave it there. Take a twenty cent coin. Stick it into your CD player. Buy a big packet of cookies. Mash them into your back seat. Take your car keys and run them along both sides of your car. There! Just like the real thing!
Mother's Body Exercise - Buy a large bean bag chair. Attach it to the front of your clothes for 9 months. After that, remove 6 beans.
Financial Exercise - Go to the nearest NTUC. Go to the cashier and give her your wallet, telling her to help herself. Now go to your bank and arrange for your pay to be GIRO’d directly to NTUC from now on. Go to the mama stall and buy a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.
Sanity Exercise - Make sure your TV can only switch to children’s channels. Throw out all your DVDs and buy only the Best of the Wiggles, Barney, Dora the Explorer, etc. Check in every few weeks with your psychiatrist to see if your IQ is still normal.
Final Exercise - Find a couple who already have a young child. Lecture them on how they can improve their tolerance lah, discipline lah, toilet training lah, patience lah, the child’s table manners lah, the kid’s PSLE results lah, etc. Tell them how the kindergarten they enrolled their kid in is just not good enough, and they must enroll in all sorts of extra classes like Music & Drama, Speech, and donno what else. Emphasise to them that they must never, ever allow their kids to stray onto the wrong path or their future will be doomed forever. Enjoy this experience while it lasts. Because when you have your own kid, it’ll happen to you.
Parenting Preparation exercise:
(complete with a little Singlish)
Mess Exercise - Smear peanut butter all over your sofa and curtains. Place a fishball under your sofa cushion and leave it there for 3 months.
Toy Exercise - Buy a giant box of Lego. (Thumbtacks also can.) Ask your friend to spread them all over the floor of your flat. Simulate the middle of the night by putting on a blindfold and trying to walk to your toilet or kitchen. When you step on a Lego or thumbtack, do not scream because this would wake your child up at night.
Supermarket Exercise - Go to Hay Dairies in Lim Chu Kang and borrow two of their goats. Take them with you to your supermarket to do your groceries. Always keep them in sight, and pay for anything they eat or damage.
Dressing Exercise - Buy one very big, very buay song live octopus. Try to stuff it into a small net bag and make sure all its arms stay inside.
Feeding Exercise - Get a large plastic bottle. Fill it halfway with water. Suspend the bottle from the ceiling with a bungee cord. Separately, make a bowl of Quaker Oats by adding warm milk to the dry oats. Start to swing the jug. As it swings, try to insert as many spoonfuls of the soggy oats as you can into the mouth of the bottle. As you do, make sounds like “um-um-um” or pretend to be an aeroplane. After a while, just dump the contents of the bottle onto the floor.
Night-Time Exercise - Fill a small cloth bag with 5 kg of sand. Soak it completely in water. At 3 pm, pick up the bag and stand up, swaying gently back and forth while humming songs. Keep doing this till 8 pm. Put down the bag, and set your alarm clock for 9 pm, then try to sleep. At 9 pm, wake up, pick up the bag again and resume swaying and humming every song you’ve ever known. If you run out of songs, make some up. Continue till 5 am. Take a nap, and set alarm clock for 6 am. At 6 am, wake up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look happy.
Car Exercise - Forget the BMW and buy a MPV. Buy a cone of ice cream and put it in your dashboard compartment. Leave it there. Take a twenty cent coin. Stick it into your CD player. Buy a big packet of cookies. Mash them into your back seat. Take your car keys and run them along both sides of your car. There! Just like the real thing!
Mother's Body Exercise - Buy a large bean bag chair. Attach it to the front of your clothes for 9 months. After that, remove 6 beans.
Financial Exercise - Go to the nearest NTUC. Go to the cashier and give her your wallet, telling her to help herself. Now go to your bank and arrange for your pay to be GIRO’d directly to NTUC from now on. Go to the mama stall and buy a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.
Sanity Exercise - Make sure your TV can only switch to children’s channels. Throw out all your DVDs and buy only the Best of the Wiggles, Barney, Dora the Explorer, etc. Check in every few weeks with your psychiatrist to see if your IQ is still normal.
Final Exercise - Find a couple who already have a young child. Lecture them on how they can improve their tolerance lah, discipline lah, toilet training lah, patience lah, the child’s table manners lah, the kid’s PSLE results lah, etc. Tell them how the kindergarten they enrolled their kid in is just not good enough, and they must enroll in all sorts of extra classes like Music & Drama, Speech, and donno what else. Emphasise to them that they must never, ever allow their kids to stray onto the wrong path or their future will be doomed forever. Enjoy this experience while it lasts. Because when you have your own kid, it’ll happen to you.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Being a mom...
I think that as mothers we put on so many different hats everyday that we lose ourselves in the day to day grind. On any given day we are teachers, nurses, homemakers, cooks, secretaries, seamstress, launderers, maids...the list goes on and on. I am guilty of getting caught up in the "bog" of things that need to be done. And with the move, that list grew by 500%. I always try to have a little time with the kids during the day so that they don't think of mom as this ogre that is constantly carping at them to "Hang up your towels" or "Eat your vegetables" or "Flush the toilet" or "Wash your hands". Today we read, played games, did picture searches and lazed around for about 2 1/2 hours. I forget how good it feels to listen, watch, and observe. They are incredible, they are just waiting for me to tell them stories or facts. ME! How was I so lucky that God put these 2 little amazing creatures in my care. That He thought enough of me to take care of a child with special health needs. That He gave me the other, so sweet and innocent.
I wish that I could bottle this feeling and keep it for all those times that I am running around like a crazy woman.
The word "Love" seems so small for what I feel for my family. My husband, my children, our parents, my friends.
An oldie, but a goodie...
I wish that I could bottle this feeling and keep it for all those times that I am running around like a crazy woman.
The word "Love" seems so small for what I feel for my family. My husband, my children, our parents, my friends.
An oldie, but a goodie...
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Things I've noticed
I've noticed:
The maids are the ones who take children to the park.
Singaporeans are some of the kindest people I have met.
People here hand things to you with 2 hands as a sign of respect.
I have never seen another culture that likes to shop or eat out as much as this one.
People who have cars like to put toys in the rear widow.
It can rain at any given moment - even if it's not forecasted.
Singlish is an actual language (oh la, can can).
A car wash in Singapore looks exactly like a car wash at any US gas station, except instead of there being equipment inside - there are actual people.
People here are night owls.
Singapore is not a democracy - therefore there is a lot of censorship.
Customer Service is almost non-existant.
Music and fashion seem to be a tad ahead of the US.
As I remember more - I'll add them.
The maids are the ones who take children to the park.
Singaporeans are some of the kindest people I have met.
People here hand things to you with 2 hands as a sign of respect.
I have never seen another culture that likes to shop or eat out as much as this one.
People who have cars like to put toys in the rear widow.
It can rain at any given moment - even if it's not forecasted.
Singlish is an actual language (oh la, can can).
A car wash in Singapore looks exactly like a car wash at any US gas station, except instead of there being equipment inside - there are actual people.
People here are night owls.
Singapore is not a democracy - therefore there is a lot of censorship.
Customer Service is almost non-existant.
Music and fashion seem to be a tad ahead of the US.
As I remember more - I'll add them.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
The "smell" of home
Our sea shipment arrived today - all pieces in the house and accounted for. The delivery supervisor had me sit in a chair and mark off boxes as they were being brought inside. When the love seat came off the truck - he immediately unwrapped it and put it down for me to sit on instead of a hard chair. I stuck my face in one of the pillows... MMMMMMMM, it smelled like home. I almost got teary eyed. I didn't even particularly miss my house in The Woodlands - I missed the smell. With most of the furniture unwrapped, the smell of "home" is overwhelming. You would have thought we were a Febreze commercial today with the three of our noses sniffing the sofa cushions...
Being a little overprotective
We have always thought that we would keep V in Tae Kwon Do after we moved. Knowing that martial arts over here is a serious business, we knew also that there may be a few roadblocks that we may have to clear, for example, we had a feeling that V would not be able to start as a second degree here.
We went to try out a class yesterday evening. I won't mention the affiliation, it's not fair to other schools of the same. The class was disorganized, he bashed the affiliation we were previously with and the instructor was VERY full of himself for being a 4th degree.
He was not as kind to V as I had hoped, in fact, he was downright belittling. His accent was heavy and the terminology they use is different than it is in the States. When V did not answer right away because he was trying to process what he was asking, he looked right at him and asked "Are you sure you are a 2nd GUP?"
I know that this was only our first experience, but V is such a creature of habit, it left him a little soured. I do believe that we will find the school that is right for him, but I was sad that as much as this man professed that they are a "family oriented" school - he didn't treat my son that way. I had an overwhelming urge to slap a grown man.
So, to Mr. M - you are missed more than you will ever know. We will be anxiously waiting to come back to our "family oriented" school.
We went to try out a class yesterday evening. I won't mention the affiliation, it's not fair to other schools of the same. The class was disorganized, he bashed the affiliation we were previously with and the instructor was VERY full of himself for being a 4th degree.
He was not as kind to V as I had hoped, in fact, he was downright belittling. His accent was heavy and the terminology they use is different than it is in the States. When V did not answer right away because he was trying to process what he was asking, he looked right at him and asked "Are you sure you are a 2nd GUP?"
I know that this was only our first experience, but V is such a creature of habit, it left him a little soured. I do believe that we will find the school that is right for him, but I was sad that as much as this man professed that they are a "family oriented" school - he didn't treat my son that way. I had an overwhelming urge to slap a grown man.
So, to Mr. M - you are missed more than you will ever know. We will be anxiously waiting to come back to our "family oriented" school.
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